Last night, one of my guildmates suggested that I stop going to my table-top Dungeons & Dragons games every single week so I had more time to quest with him regularly in Guild Wars. Unlike my D&D party, he can group with Henchmen and other players. My DM will generally not use PCs as NPCs when the player is absent. This guildie didn’t seem to understand that I have a group of people who rely on me to be there each week. My Rogue may not be the highest damage dealer or damage soaker in the party, but she does contribute to the team in her own way.
I have always contended that I’m not the most skilled Guild Wars player, but he seems very dependent on me to go on Missions with him. The reason I do my extracurricular Guild Wars reading is because I enjoy the game, and I like knowing how to complete Missions most efficiently. I don’t mind the pressure to know the Missions and Bonus Missions in detail, to know where to go, and to lead our guild on the rare occasions that the most active members (three of us) get together to quest. However, usually it’s just me and him because we live in the same time zone. To be honest, I’d rather quest with the other guildie than with him most of the time.
Bearing the weight of knowledge is totally fine, but I object to him suggesting that I sacrifice one game for another. Granted, if I spent more time doing Missions with him, I would progress as well, since we are in the same area. At one point, he progressed further than me, and now he’s stalling. He dislikes the idea of joining PUGs unless I’m in the same party because he has had several frustrating experiences with randoms recently.
I would love to play Guild Wars every night of the week, but it’s impossible. It’s nice to feel needed, but I won’t tolerate someone making demands on my free time, and putting pressure on me to quest. He says there’s no pressure, but each time I log on to MSN recently he’s all “Can you quest tonight?” or “Will you have time to play Guild Wars tomorrow?”
I also discussed the lack of appreciation for my contribution to the team, which he was very defensive about, saying that he expresses his gratitude by giving me money and items. If that’s the case, I don’t recall him offering anything to me after the Galrath quest. I have always refused to accept items from him unless he insists. I don’t want gold, I just want acknowledgement. The other guildie is much better about showing her appreciation, and noting my contributions.
And I brought up the point that because our guild didn’t have regular meet-ups, I felt that we didn’t have unity. He interpreted this statement as an accusation that he was disloyal. Urgh.
The frustrating discussions last night have led me to the decision not to speak to him or play Guild Wars with him until I am no longer angry.
EDIT: We talked things over on the phone, and we have come to an understanding.